Christ in you.

a couple weeks ago, i was listening to an old amy grant christmas cd.  i don’t know about you but i grew up on that album. and i can be a wee bit sentimental about these kinds of things…

it’s filled with upbeat songs that bring back the childlike excitement of christmas.  the songs fill you with hope and joy of the season.

somewhere towards the end of the cd, the music mellows and the song that gets me everytime plays…

breath of heaven.

if you haven’t heard it, it’s a song about mary and her journey carrying that precious baby. it takes you away to a distant time and place.  there are no christmas lights or santa clauses, just a young girl and a young man on their way to bethlehem. 

as i thought about this song again, a new thought came to me.  i once heard of a woman who would notice with each pregnancy an increase in the gift that the specific child carried.

it made me think of mary. 

was she more aware of deeper things while she carried the Savior in her young body?

i think so…

was she overcome by compassion when she passed by the less fortunate?

was she more aware of injustice in the world around her?

was she stirred to somehow bring hope to the broken world in which she walked?

was she aware that within her dwelt the One who would overcome all of this?

then my thoughts turned to us some 2000 years later.  and a familiar verse.

“To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” -colossians 1:27

not only did He dwell in mary.  He chooses to dwell in us today. 

do we carry His love?

are we moved with compassion?

do we walk in the gifts that He carries?

you may be thinking i am inadequate to carry this Man… she did too.

“Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place”

my prayer for you tonight is that the breath of heaven is filling you now.  i pray that you would be filled with a fresh awareness of His sweet presence that dwells within you.

merry christmas 2011!!

“Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holyness
For your holy Breath of Heaven”

 

define me…

I haven’t had a day off in too long…  My room, my house, and my diet for the past week have been screaming at me.  Last night I finally made it to the grocery store to by real live foods.  I made vegetable soup and juiced organic carrot juice and green lemonade this morning.  4 loads of laundry, one bathroom, and one kitchen attacked, all the while a still, small voice, said, “rest”.  

After this next thing, I kept telling that very patient small voice.  Finally, I was vacuuming my room, and the circuit blew.  All the power went out for my side of the house.  I searched the garage and my roommates closets for the breaker with no luck.  

Fine, I’ll sit with you, still small voice, for awhile.

I left the vacuum in the middle of the room, and grabbed my journal and Bible.  I felt Him say, I want to tell you who you are.  I want to define you.  I want to be the loudest voice in your life.

Hmm, so much talking, but how often to I forget to listen to the voice that matters the most?

 Four pages in the journal later, with a hand that couldn’t write fast enough, I was amazed.

How often I forget to “be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10)”. He is the wisest.  He is the best.  He is for me.  He wants to talk too.  

He doesn’t like to be left out.

He “makes her (me) secure forever” (Psalm 48:10).

He is my anchor, and I don’t ever want to leave Him out.

Dear Jesus, thank you for reminding me of all this through the breaker going out. I love you so much. Amen.

how to handle disappointment

With teary eyes, I sat down with 2 upbeat kids to read them their bedtime story.  Generally, I am a kid person, and have a high value for engaging with them.  This night I was struggling to get to 7:30 bedtime.  I was quite relieved when the 3 year old insisted I play mermaids and sharks with her, only because it required getting into the bed and pulling the covers over my head.  The mercy of God can come in such strange ways. 

The little boy handed me a comic Bible.  I told him to pick “one” story from the book.  I am not a first-timer here.  He chose 2 Samuel 12.  It is the story of David and Bathsheba’s first child.  Every kids favorite Bible story right?  

Ha ha, I love my life.

As I swallowed huge lumps in my throat asking God to hold back my tears for another 10 minutes until I shut their door, He spoke to me through this comic Bible story.

The story begins with Samuel telling David a story.  The story is about a rich man who steals a very poor man’s sheep.  David becomes furious and demands that man be punished, the wise Samuel quickly informs him that he is that man.  He stole Uriah’s wife and killed him.  Samuel goes on to tell David that this sin will cost him the life of his first son with Bathsheba.

David repents, refuses to eat, and storms the gates of heaven with prayers for his infant son who soon became sick.

One week later, the child passes away.  

The servants lurk in the corners of the room afraid to tell him the news.  Let’s picture David in the moment.  He has not eaten, he has not shaved or showered, and probably hasn’t slept much either.  I think I’d be a little afraid too, of the scent if nothing less.

David sees them and he bluntly asked, “is the child dead?”.  When they reply, he gets up, eats, takes a shower and goes to the house of the Lord and he worships.

I want to stop here for a moment, because this fascinates me.  Here’s a few reasons why…

1. David believed in God’s goodness enough to cry out for the desire of his heart.

2. He repented, but chose not to walk in condemnation for his sin.

3. He didn’t change his view of God’s character when he didn’t get what he asked for.  

4. He still believed God was good and worthy to be worshipped.

5. Instead of doubting, asking questions or walking in shame, he worshipped.

6. He focused his attention on the Lord rather than the emotions he felt.

I can’t help but be challenged by David at this moment.  Are these perhaps some of the reasons that he is the “man after God’s heart”?

What are my responses to disappointment?

Do I make a theology out of what happened to me?

Do I still believe He is good all the time?

Do I value worshipping Him above how I feel?

The story has an interesting and happy ending that I think isn’t coincidence, but God’s response to the pure heart of David.

David went to comfort Bathsheba, and she became pregnant again.  They had Solomon a man of peace, who “God loved”.

We’ve all experienced sin and disappointment in walking on this earth, can I ask you today how you handle yours?

Is there anything you can learn from David?

God and Interior Design.

I was reading Exodus a while back and reading through the design of the temple.

I suddenly felt justified in my affinity for nice things.

God was quite specific with His colors and materials in His house.

I am simply made in His image that’s why I care about design.

As a teenager, my favorite tv shows where TLC’s “A Baby Story” and “Trading Spaces.”  I was able to live out both of these shows when I worked at a maternity for a couple years.  I got to be a birthing coach for 5 girls as well as re-do most of the girl’s rooms in the beautiful 10,000 square foot house!

Anyway, back on track…

The other night we were singing the song “Beautiful Things” by  Gungor and I just realized once again how our God loves restoration.  I’ve been searching all kinds of home blogs lately.  I love seeing the way people take trash and turn it into treasures.

I was thinking the other day how I wanted an old door for our living room.  I gave up on the thought not sure where you find one?

That same day I got a text from my roommate about a project she’d discovered.

Guess what I came home to?

this…

Yes, Jesus loves me so much.

I love when He answers thoughts, not even prayers, just passing thoughts.

Hmm, I love Him too, a lot.

The chorus of “Beautiful Things” says-

“You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us”

-Gungor

My thoughts feel a bit all over the place at the moment, bear with me, I have a little head cold.

My point is, God loves restoration.  He loves to make beautiful things, just like I do.  I love to find something that others might think is worthless and turn it into a creation I am proud of.

I’ve been reading through Jeremiah 33 lately, and just today connected my recent revelations.

It starts out like this, “While Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard of the guard, the word of the LORD came to him a second time…”

Can you relate?

Do you feel confined?

Do you feel limited?

Dare I even ask, do you feel hopeless?

Well, hold on, cause I have some good news for you.

In verse 6 the Lord says, “Nevertheless, I will bring health and healing to it; I will heal my people and will let them enjoy abundant peace and security.”

Health, healing, abundant peace and security are coming your way.

He makes beautiful things.

Verse 9 goes on to say, “Then this city will bring me renown, joy, praise and honor before all nations on earth that hear of all the good things I do for it; and they will be in awe and will tremble at the abundant prosperity and peace I provide for it.”

I am tempted to copy a whole lot more of this scripture, but I will let you dig into it more yourself.

For now, I want to encourage you to take these promises of restorations for yourself, for your family, for your city, and for you health, prosperity, and peace.

Especially in the areas that seem quite the opposite.

He is good, really good.

There are promises of restoration just waiting to be claimed.

Go ahead, take them!

My favorite kind of Mondays

A little more room re-do today….

I fixed the yellow on my desk and painted an OLD bookshelf.

It is my only piece of furniture back home, and one with some history.  Dad told me that mom bought it from a friend in the 70′s.

It was mauve when I acquired it from a 90′s bedroom of my sister.  But when I sanded it a bit, a bright green from a “jungle room” my mom created for my brothers in the 70′s.

She’s so creative.

That room was gone by the time I rolled onto the scene in the mid-80′s.  But I always wished I’d seen that room.  Rumor has it there was a huge tree painted across one of the corners.  My mother, the artist, if only the walls of that “Leave it to Beaver” house we grew up in could talk.  It is a continuous debate between my mom and dad how long a room should go before being re-painted.  Haha.  I think I inherited my mother’s love of change.

So, my room is making me happy this monday.  It’s feeling crisp as the cool breeze blowing through my open window.

Now for a couple pics…

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an afternoon make-over

After almost a week of VBS… I was ready for an afternoon at home.

Sudden inspiration hit me.

I’ve been wanting to paint my desk an antique white for a while.

So, this afternoon I did it…

It turned out a little yellower than I would like, but I still like it.

like a child cont…

Something to think about…

Children are usually the freest people on the planet, and generally have the least amount of information.

Bill Johnson often says, “You have to give up the right to understand to get the peace that passes all understanding.”

Do we really need the information we THINK we do?

I have a wonderful dad, who took great care of me and my siblings.  I never doubted his care or provision.  He is fabulous at affirmation to this day, and probably the hardest working man on the planet.  Really, I don’t know how he does all that he does.  He has owned and run 2 business in his lifetime, and continues at 65 to run the “Flory Tree Farm.”

He is a hero, and I could rest in his arms.

As a kid, I didn’t worry much.  I didn’t ask many questions.  I was pretty kick-back all the way down to the way I dressed.  There may or may not have been a couple year stint where I wore a sweatsuit almost everyday.  I could have possibly forgotten this, except that my siblings remind me of it more often than they realize.  You’ll have to ask them what color it was, for I choose not to disclose this information.

I was free as a bird.

Silly as can be.

Eccentric at moments.

And if I was saying something funny, I was giving you something to laugh at.

I was quite unhindered by the opinions of others.

Most of my friends were boys down the street.

We played outside for hours a day, under the shade of big oak trees.

I wondered home around dinner smelling of the outdoors, and acquired the nickname “Stinky” from my big brother.

So, today I am on the quest to unearth this girl.

When did I decide to grow up?

That was a dumb decision.

I don’t wanna grow up.

I don’t think I will.

After all, here’s a few things my Savior had to say about the subject…

“At that time Jesus said, ‘I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children.” -Matthew 11:25

I’ll take it.

“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” -Matthew 18:3

Welcome to my journey back into childlikeness, feel free to join me.  It could do you some good as well I’m sure of it.

like a child…

After working 2 jobs and going to a full time ministry school, life has slowed down quit a bit this summer.  And sometimes when a slower pace presents itself, old mindset present themselves as if a warm blanket.  Slowly but surely, I start to feel choked by this blanket.

It lies to me and tells me that my value comes from what I do .  It tells me if I don’t do more, I’m not gonna make it.  It tells me it’s my job to take care of me, not my Heavenly Fathers.  It tells me that striving produces fruit.

Ever so subtly, it can smother the foundational truth about grace and love.

I was wrestling with this a yesterday, and asking the Holy Spirit to do a work in my heart.  His love is hard for our minds to grasp.  I gave Him permission to bypass my mind and go straight into my spirit.  I just wanted to be able to receive His unconditional love.

Then last night at a worship time he reminded me of something…

The night before I was babysitting.  The baby fell asleep in the living room, and I didn’t want to unsettle her big brother by walking by his room as he put himself to sleep.  So I was forced to hold her sleeping on my chest for about 30 minutes.  I thought to myself this has got to be the best feeling in the world.  A little one snuggled onto me and sleeping so peacefully.

She was doing nothing, and yet I received so much from her.  She wasn’t performing and making me laugh.  She wasn’t attempting to walk.  She wasn’t passing any milestone or showing me how smart she is.  She simply slept in my arms.

As I thought back through that memory, it helped me to grasp the love of our heavenly father.

“We love because He first loved us.”  -1 John 3:19

“But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ died for us.” -Romans 5:8

It is not what we do that draws us close.  It’s a trust that allows Him to hold us while we sleep.  It’s a trust that His promises are true, and that He really is “working all things together for our good” (Romans 8:28).  Our only responsibility in that verse is to love Him.

I came across this verse and thought to myself, wow, that’s something to be known for.

“for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.” -Psalm 26:3

Lest, I forget, please remind me, that is to which I aspire.

I pray that we will find rest in His loving arms today.  I pray that we will trust in His faithfulness.

“Like clay in the potter’s hands
Mold me, mold me
Like a child in her father’s arms
Hold me, hold me
Like a sparrow afraid to fly
Raise me, raise me
This is just between You and I
I love You, I love You”

Like Clay, Larue

“God never witholds from His child that which His love and wisdom call good. God’s refusals are always merciful — “severe mercies” at times but mercies all the same. God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.”
— Elisabeth Elliot

when God says no.

I was probably eleven or twelve.  I was the queen of babysitting.  I had built up quite a cliental within biking distance, and often had to turn down jobs because I was already booked.  I loved it, and often only remembered I got paid for it when they handed me a wad of cash at the end of the night.

One friday night a family from across town called and asked if I could babysit, and stay the night with them.  I asked my mom, and she said no.  Honestly this wasn’t the norm for my mom.  I am the youngest of four and have always been on the responsible side of things so it wasn’t often that I wasn’t permitted to do something I desired.

Hmm… that’s weird I thought.  I had nothing to do and an opportunity came up and she said no.  So, I threw chairs, screamed and threw a fit. (well, maybe I didn’t do that, but it makes the story more interesting…)

I  honestly don’t remember much else about this memory until the next morning.  I was fast asleep in my comfy bed, in my little shabby chic room and suddenly I was awoken by the giggles of junior high girls.  I opened my eyes to see all my best friends excitingly telling me that I could only brush my teeth and we were going to breakfast in our pj’s.

My mom had said no, because she knew that something better was coming my way the next morning.  She knew that I would enjoy a fun surprise breakfast with all my best friends even more than I loved babysitting.  She knew what I needed.  She knew what was good for me.

I often reflect on this story as a parallel for closed doors in my life.  God wants to give us everything we’ve ever wanted!  He wants to fulfill the desires of our hearts.  And sometimes that actually means a no.  That no is not the end, but a beginning.

It means, no baby, not that now, but there is something so much better I have for you.

I don’t know where you are at today.  I don’t know if the options seem limited.  I don’t know if doors seem to be slamming, but may I remind you that…

He withholds no good thing from those whose walk is blameless. -Psalm 84:10

He is ridiculously good.

He is better than we can think or imagine.

He absolutely has good things for you.

He has plans to prosper you, to give you a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

So turn that discouragement into anticipation.  Amazing things are coming your way.

Only the best for you beloved one.